What is Self-abandonment?
Self-abandonment: Rejecting, suppressing, or ignoring part(s) of yourself – needs/ wants/ limits/ boundaries in order to do something like maintaining a relationship or getting people to like you.
This chronic behaviour has lots of signs and symptoms:
- Saying “yes” when you really want to say “no”
- Putting your needs last to avoid disappointing others
- Giving up on promises and commitments you make to yourself
- Self-silencing instead of standing up for yourself
- Letting bad behaviour slide, on the regular
It’s also the inner-knowing that every time you do it you’re betraying part of yourself, but sadly not knowing what else you can do about it.
You can’t fix this problem from the outside, in.
I was a chronic self-betrayer. My whole life I’d been shaped and conditioned to play nice and be easy – easy to be around, easy to work with, easy to get along with, easy to look at, easy in lot’s of ways – and man, it took a toll on my EVERYTHING.
No matter how much I stretched and twisted myself throughout my adult life, all it eventually got me was a major depressive episode, which was essentially caused by my years of self-abandonment and self-betrayal.
It was a painful and costly lesson to learn.
Self-abandonment is a corrosive and toxic tendency that is a cancer to your sense of self.
When it has a grip on you, the dreams you have, the life you want – the LOVE you want – are unavailable in any kind of authentic way. You can’t build the life of your dreams by compromising and betraying yourself.
Self-abandonment will get you nothing but pain and hardship:
You’re naturally a high-achiever – it’s in your blood – but lately that same drive isn’t getting you the results you’re used to. In fact, you’re actually feeling unsatisfied and unfulfilled, and that’s not okay with you.
Whether you’re perpetually single, a serial monogamist, or have been married for decades – no matter where you fall on the relationship spectrum – the love and connection you’re heart and soul are dying for just isn’t there…
Questioning Your Future:
You’ve given it your all for your whole life, and sure it’s ‘worked’ up to now, but the thought of living the rest of your life this way feels heavy and exhausting.
You’re tired, and not regular tired – you’re soul tired.
It’s easy to keep pushing forward, trying harder, doing more, trying to find THE thing that will fill the void… but it doesn’t work that way. In fact, keep going like this and all you’ll have is more exhaustion, stuckness, and resentment (for yourself and others) that will likely result in you doing something drastic to force a change:
- Get fired
- Mid-life crisis
- Wrack up debt
- Numb to excess
- Health crisis
Etc. etc. etc…
It doesn’t have to be that way – you do have a choice.
Imagine YOU, standing fully in your power:
- Deeply connected to your inner truth
- Setting and holding boundaries that serve you
- Relationships built on the foundation of authenticity and truth
- Holding the balance of fierceness and femininity
- Living your life with meaning and purpose
YOU: grounded in the knowledge that you are enough.
What would be possible for you and the dreams you have (including the ones you’ve forgotten about or given up on) if all of THAT was a reality for you?
Probably kinda hard to wrap your head around that, right? I get it… but my friend, let me ask you: are you ready to try?
The Rewilding Project.
We want you – the real you, the untamed and willing-to-be-re-wilded YOU. Are you ready?
“The boundary setting that I learned to do with Heather paved the way to change my entire life! It helped me to see what I needed to let go of; especially the relationships that weren’t serving me, and it opened the door for the loving relationship I’ve wanted for so long, to finally show up.” – Poorni