I believe the quality of our lives is determined by the quality of our relationships. I also believe that most of us think we know how to ‘do’ relationships well, but in reality, most of us suck at them – especially the intimate ones.
How do I know that?
I used to think I knew how to have great relationships too.
I even used to think I was good at them! I used to think it was normal to feel:
- Disconnected and frustrated in my relationships
- Lonely or alone in my relationships
- I had to pretend to be ok with things I wasn’t
- Like I always had to prove or justify my value
- Like I had compromise my own needs and boundaries because I had to take care of everything for everyone else.
It was exhausting.
And it came at a pretty high price too… my sense of self, my self-esteem, my self-respect and trust… gone…. and that’s no way to live.
The turning point for me came at the beginning of 2009 when I was diagnosed with clinical depression and ended up on a 9-month stress leave from my corporate job. All that pretending, compromising, and proving had finally taken its toll.
That’s when I decided to do something about it.
Because here’s the truth: healthy relationships take work. It doesn’t matter whether you’re talking about intimate partnerships, friends, family, business relationships – even the relationship with yourself – if you want them to be healthy, you have to put in the effort. Healthy relationships don’t happen by accident.
Once I figured that out, I wasn’t willing to spend one more minute suffering. I got to work, first healing my relationship with myself – you see, depression is less likely to occur when you love and accept yourself!
Then I started learning everything I could about what makes relationships work and the rest is history.
Since then I have been working with individuals and couples helping them deal with and heal their unhealthy relationships.
Basically I help people get out of their own way, so they can live the life and have the love they truly desire.