It sucks doesn’t it?
The never ending cycle of looking for your happily-ever-after but always ending up disappointed, frustrated, and alone… wondering if it will ever be your turn to find love.
I mean, you try your best right?
You’re willing to compromise and work through things, maybe even give them more chances than you should… but you’re consistently let down. You’re starting to wonder if it’s time to either give up all together or settle for ‘good enough’.
And it really makes no sense, right?
Because the truth is, you’re a catch!
In fact everyone says that: “You’re such a catch! It makes no sense that you’re single! I don’t understand why someone hasn’t snapped you up by now!”
You’re tired of hearing that and don’t’ get it either:
- You’ve done your work
- You take care of yourself
- You basically have your life in order
- You don’t “need” a man, but you really want a partner
The truth is, you have a lot to offer!
So what gives?
Well… let me ask you a couple of questions.
Do you ever wonder why you:
- Can’t find a guy who you’re attracted to AND treats you well
- Become consumed by relationships when you’re in them
- Unconsciously allow people to take advantage of you
- Give people second, third, and fifteenth chances
- Ignore your intuition and red flags
- Can’t say no without guilt
What you’re experiencing can seem mystifying at first but if you’ve nodded along to any of those questions, there’s an explanation for what’s really going on…
You, my Lovely, self-abandon.
Self-abandonment, just like the phrase implies, is when you abandon yourself – your needs, wants, and boundaries – in service of something else. Usually that ‘something’ is keeping a relationship intact by avoiding a conflict or upsetting the other person.
What this looks like in action, is:
- Saying yes when you don’t want to
- Putting your needs last to avoid disappointing others
- Giving up on the commitments and promises you make to yourself
- Self-silencing and self-editing instead of standing up for yourself
- Letting someone’s bad behaviour slide regularly
- Feeling guilty and putting off self-care
And let me guess, you’ve tried a few different approaches to deal with this, like being nice (and getting walked all over) or being a bit of a hard-ass (only to be told that you’re cold, intimidating, or even worse – a bitch?)
It’s like you can’t find the common ground for being you and getting your needs met, so you’re left questioning yourself…
You’re ready for something different… but what?
You, with a strong connection to your truth and the ability to speak it – every time.
You, crystal clear on your boundaries and confident in honouring them – even if you rock a few boats.
You, courageous enough to be seen for who you really are – committed to living on purpose.
You, powerfully holding the balance of fierceness and femininity – no matter what.
You, grounded in the knowledge that you are enough.
“The boundary setting that I learned to do with Heather paved the way to change my entire life! It helped me to see what I needed to let go of; especially the relationships that weren’t serving me, and it opened the door for the loving relationship I’ve wanted for so long, to finally show up.” – Poorni
Learning how to show up for yourself, the way you want to, is no easy task but it can be done. With a little perseverance and an effective plan, it’s totally possible.