Have you ever noticed that when you’re not getting the results you want in life, there is often a serious amount of drama happening at the same time? You’re upset, over thinking, over analyzing, strategizing, feeling resentful, etc… And it often seems to be the case that it’s “their” fault, as in “my partner is not…
You know that feeling where you’re having a heated discussion with your partner and turns into a fight? Then it dawns on you that you’re not sure what you’re fighting about anymore? You think you’re arguing about the dishes left in the sink instead of putting them in the dishwasher, but no matter what you…
“I’m fine.” ……You know what that means when someone says it to you right? Everything is NOT fine. In fact, most of the time it means something like: Everything is definitely not fine I’m upset with you something you did (or didn’t do) You better think quick and figure out what I’m upset about and…
This idea of changing or controlling someone’s behaviour to start or stop doing something comes up in all the time. Whenever people are dissatisfied in their relationships, the first place they look is to the other person thinking “if they’d just to (or not do) this thing, everything would be better!” Essentially the unconscious framework…
Let’s finally address the BS idea that “if they really cared, they’d just know.” Seriously. It’s in every rom-com ever written. That moment towards the end right before the happily-ever-after moment. When the lead characters are about to walk away from the relationship, because they’ve had some miscommunication that the viewing audience can see but…
Generally, when I start talking about boundaries, people mentally check out of the conversation. Even though everyone’s heard they’re supposed to set them, knowing what your boundaries are, can be tough. On top of that, actually having the conversations to set and hold them can seem confronting and hard. Boundaries are physical and emotional limits…
Learning to fight fair will create better connection in your relationships. At least once a week I speak with a client about how to have a tough conversation with someone they’re in a relationship with. This includes things like: Approaching a prickly topic Drawing or holding a boundary Telling someone they were a jerk or…
Think about the last time someone said to you: “We need to talk”. How did you instantly feel? Anxious? Panicky? Defensive? Angry? Immediately questioning what you did wrong, how are you going to explain it, and make things better? What about when you have to talk your partner about something that could lead to conflict?…
